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Flatulence Can Be Deadly

COLLIER COUNTY SHERIFF'S OFFICE
COLLIER COUNTY SHERIFF’S OFFICE

When has someone “let one fly” in front of you, and how did you react?

I did.

On my first date. And then blamed it on the fact that we were crossing the East River at the time.

It’s a wonder I’m still married.

You may have had an embarrassing moment or two in your life when your natural urge could not be suppressed. My Aunt Fran used to say, “better shame than pain!” (I have tears of laughter in my eyes as I write this!)

Anyway, the headline from the Daily News story reads:

Woman stabs boyfriend after he farts in her face during argument.

And the story that follows goes a little something like this:

A drunken Florida woman stabbed her boyfriend with an 8-inch blade after he farted in her face during an argument, police say.

Deborah Ann Burns, 37, allegedly knifed her lover of six years — Willie Butler, 53 — as they watched television in their Immokalee apartment last week.

Burns told cops they were fighting about cash when Butler got up to go to the kitchen and broke wind on her head.

She confronted him and things turned ugly — with Butler allegedly throwing a knife at her, which missed.

Burns reportedly picked it up and threw it back and hit him in the stomach.

She ran outside, before returning to hit him with a stick on his left arm.

Cops arrived to find a bleeding Butler, who was so drunk he could not give a statement, standing in front of his mailbox.

Burns, who denies cutting Butler, was arrested and charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon.

She remains in custody on a $50,000 bond. And all because of a fart!

When have you ever “let one go” in an embarrassing situation?

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