Thou shalt not steal. Thou shalt not steal even an awesome scooter.

If the awesome scooter belongs to NJ girl LeAnn, thou shalt better know what thou is in for.

On a NJ subreddit post, someone posted this picture of a flyer a crime victim named LeAnn is apparently hanging all around Hoboken. It’s a wishlist of sorts; things she hopes happens to the thief of her Phat Flyer Scooter. We’ve all been there. A co-worker takes credit; you hope they choke. An ex starts dating your friend. You hope they both get hit by a bus.

LeAnn has taken this and turned it into an art form. Her medium is rage, with such specific thoughts as “I wish upon you to be struck by a bus moving 40 miles per hour, traveling just fast enough that you survive. I wish upon you every bone to be broken in your body.”

And that’s just her getting warmed up. LeAnn knows how to take it to the next level.

Our takeaways? That LeAnn really loved that scooter. Also that if you’re dating LeAnn and she finds a genie in a bottle, either run or never, ever treat her poorly.

The commenters had takeaways such as this is a long read for some thief who’s probably a junkie. It’s a lot of bad to wish on what is likely some 16 year old kid. And wondering how she knows exactly at what speed a bus would almost but not quite kill a person.

LeAnn, any final thoughts?

“I wish upon you to suffer, cry, and beg for mercy only to know that there will be no deliverance.”

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