In a stunning turn of events, New Jersey and the rest of America learned this week that the popular Chick-fil-A restaurant will close down two consecutive days this month. In another stunning turn of events, for some bizarre reason this was considered newsworthy by many media outlets.

I know this is a lot to take in all at once, but I’m going to walk us through this slowly. Chick-fil-A was founded many years ago by S. Truett Cathy, a dyed-in-the-wool Southern Baptist who didn’t cotton to them thar homosexuals and whose devout nature dictated that all restaurants in the chain would always be closed on Sundays. They are also closed on Thanksgiving and on Christmas Day.

Now hold onto your seat, here comes the part that’s got journalism in a tailspin. This year, believe it or not, Christmas falls on a Saturday. Which means the next day is Sunday.

Which means…

Chick-fil-A is going to be closed TWO DAYS IN A ROW!

This news is everywhere. So this must never have happened before? Wrong. It last happened in 2010. That’s how calendars work. It happens every so often. Before that it happened in 2004. Oh, it also happened in 1999.

So there’s your blockbuster folks.

In other breaking news, there’s no home mail delivery by the United States Postal Service on Sundays. Nor is there any on Christmas Day.

So this year there will be two consecutive days without any home mail delivery. The last time this happened was in 2010. Before that in 2004. Prior to that in 1999.

In more breaking news, Paramus Park Mall in Bergen County is closed every Sunday due to that county’s blue laws. Paramus Park Mall will be closed on Christmas Day.

So this year there will be two consecutive days Paramus Park Mall will be closed. The last time this happened was in 2010. Before that in 2004. Prior to that in 1999.

Stay tuned for more late-breaking, shocking news.

Opinions expressed in the post above are those of New Jersey 101.5 talk show host Jeff Deminski only.

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