These are from John Peck at mcsweeneys.net. Some of themare WAY out there, but remember it was the 80s.

What would you add to this list? Leave your comments below!
  • You have used whiteout on a pair of white loafers.
  • You have been paid to be furniture at a party.
  • You have punched an arcade game hard enough to injure yourself.
  • Your hair smelled faintly like barbecue sauce.
  • Your shower smelled like Skittles and unfiltered cigarettes.
  • You have dissected a Nintendo game.
  • You have used AquaNet in self-defense.
  • You have used Nair in self-defense.
  • You have almost been tricked into eating silly.
  • You owned more than one pair of sock garters.
  • You have thrown a Rolodex.
  • Your bedroom smelled like Midori.
  • You have made nachos while on ecstasy.
  • You have several bracelets or rings you cannot remove.
  • You own a piece of clothing that involves both argyle and leather.
  • You have used “argyle” as a verb.
  • You have attempted to use a Polaroid picture as an ID.
  • You have used a hairnet as a handbag.
  • You have chewed gum while delivering a keynote speech or eulogy.
  • You have worn sunglasses through an entire tooth cleaning.
  • You have injured yourself while doing the Electric Slide.
  • You have injured yourself while doing the Centipede.
  • You have injured several bystanders while doing the Centipede.
  • You wore shorts with boots at least once a week.
  • You have lost a mood ring in a hot tub.
  • You have read aloud to a hamster, ferret, or turtle.
  • You owned several fish tanks but no fish.
  • You have destroyed a calculator watch in anger.
  • You have exploded a beanbag chair by landing on it.
  • You are hanging from monkey bars in two or more successive class pictures.
  • You have shattered a Rubik’s Cube with a rock.
  • You have tried and failed to shatter a Rubik’s Cube with a rock.
  • You had a Highlander poster in a tube in the back of your closet.
  • You mouth the words when you watch Highlander.
  • You own a VCR with a copy of Highlander stuck in it.
  • You have cut a Nerf football in half to see what was inside.
  • You have used a laserdisc as a shaving mirror.
  • You have spilled Zima into a motel heating vent.
  • You are excellent at dodgeball.
  • You were one of the first ten people in history to drop a cell phone in a toilet.
  • You have shaved a word into your hair.
  • You have temporarily blinded someone by whipping your hair into them.
  • You think Europe is Asia.
  • You think Asia is Europe.
  • You have sunbathed in a suit.
  • You have worn shorts while accepting an award or diploma.
  • Your favorite air freshener is Vanillaroma.
  • Your favorite air freshener is New Car.