Why women need to stop over-apologizing — Forever 39 Podcast
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When it comes to apologizing, women seem much more prone to utter "I'm sorry" on a more frequent basis than men are. Perhaps it's just our makeup, but our experience is that not only do women seem to be more apologetic in their romantic relationships, but they also tend to be the first to apologize in the workplace, too.
In this Forever 39 episode, we reveal why we think women are more apt to apologize than men, and how we can stop over-apologizing.
Psychologist Harriet Lerner, who has studied the subject of apologizing for over a decade, said there are several reasons that cause women to over-apologize. According to a Psychology Today article that Lerner wrote, women might be engaging in this behavior due to low self-esteem or as a way to avoid or deflect criticism or disapproval. Lerner said it could also be due to a woman's desire to please everyone, or because she has a decreased sense of entitlement.
Perhaps examining why we might be engaging in over-apologizing might help us stop the behavior? That's probably easier said than done, but maybe the next time you go to apologize about something, you should ask yourself if the matter even merits an apology to begin with. If the answer is no, don't utter those two words!
An article in Forbes.com also lists three steps that women can take to stop themselves from over-apologizing at work. One of the article's tips advise women to "start replacing unwarranted apologies with accurate statements to communicate your point." Sounds good to us.
Is this something that you used to struggle with, but have since conquered? Share your story at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Also from this week's Forever 39 podcast — Don't post this about your relationship on social media. PLUS: Our favorite viral videos. Share your thoughts on all of them below, on Twitter, on Facebook or at email@example.com.
— Annette and Megan, Forever 39
Join us for next week's podcast, when we discuss surviving a partner's midlife crisis, what rules no longer apply once you turn 40, and our business ideas.