Who does Dennis Malloy want to punch in the face?

An adorable little article about expensive and possibly pretentious kitchenware for Christmas was forwarded to me for possible consideration. It was snarky and clever and well written, but all I could think about after the second sentence was how much I wanted to punch the writer in the face.

No really, punch him in the face....HARD!

I don't get defensive all that often, but if it's about my family, my friends, my country or my state, I sometimes get into almost a blind rage. This turd did that to me in a few seconds. Then I thought, I should find out more about this guy and maybe I would calm down.

No, no, no, no, quite the contrary. The more I found out about him and read some of his thoughts and background, the more enraged I became. It's easy and lazy to drop F-bombs into every sentence of your work and I guess with a certain crowd, it's also highly effective. It's also easy and lazy to dump on our beautiful state, because it's been that way to the uninformed for decades.

Just today I met a guy living and working in my town from Tennessee, and I asked him the same question I ask all out of towners. How do you like Jersey? "I was surprised how great it is here, you know outside of the high taxes and legalized corruption, but it's awesome."

I just hate it when shallow, progressive, condescending media elitists dump on New Jersey, especially just for a bit of flair in their obnoxious little articles. I love the part of the piece where he mocks a certain antler shaped candle holder and claims he prefers real antlers. Then he proposes to shoot Bambi's mother and putting her antlers on his table. Only problem is, does, the female deer, don't have antlers.

But that's not important in his shallow little snarky world. The whole thing, in fact his entire existence got under my skin, so I did what any agitated New Jerseyan would do, I invited him over.

To read this author's full article trashing New Jersey, click here.

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