What is the Best Frozen Pizza?
By Jeff Deminski
Is there anything Consumer Reports won’t review? Apparently not. The publication has now reviewed frozen pizzas. Now before I tell you the results, excuse my rant. Frozen pizza sucks. It isn’t worth reviewing. But if you insist, here’s my review.
All frozen pizza sucks. Period. End of review.
Having grown up in Rahway, pizza is one of the Jersey things I hold dear. Sunday nights in my house used to be pizza night as a kid. I remember watching Mission Impossible with my family gathered around eating an Italian sausage pie from Ted’s Pizza in town. I was also a huge fan of Rahway Pizza. Then, as a teenager, my best friend and I spent far too much time at Linden pizza, salting down their incredible slices. Ah, then there’s Tucky’s, who could forget them?
Point is, to New Jerseyans, you don’t mess with pizza. It’s a sacred thing. Now, I suppose if you’re in some kind of unimaginable pinch, like it is three o’clock in the morning and you need to satisfy a mid bender crave and the alcohol has made you lose your wits temporarily, I suppose the frozen pizza tucked far back in the freezer that you bought 19 months ago for just such a doomsday emergency might be almost reasonable. Almost. But suffice it to say, I’d be shocked to hear true New Jerseyans disagree with me and actually enjoy one of these frozen cardboard frisbees with ketchup.
On to the results.
According to Consumer Reports, for pure taste, Home Run Inn pizza was the big winner. Sold in some 20 states, I don’t believe I’ve seen it here in the Garden State. Home Run Inn pizza is said to have a “flavorful, thin, crispy, flaky crust loaded with stretchy cheese plus fresh-tasting, mild sauce.” Yeah, whatever. Runners-up were Red Baron’s Single Deep Dish, DiGiorno stuffed crust, DiGiorno Pizzeria Quattro Formaggi cheese pizza.