Who is it that comes up with these national (fill-in-the-blank) days? You know, those days that celebrate everything but really nothing at all? Who decides that they should be on the calendar and then succeeds in getting them there?

In case you're not aware of some of the more auspicious (by that I mean LESS auspicious) says that you should be celebrating, here's a comprehensive list of the next couple months' 13 most ridiculous National "special days".

1. September 26th - National Situational Awareness Day

How can the people who invented Situational Awareness Day not have the situational awareness to realize what a dumb freaking day it is?

2. October 15th - National White Cane Safety Day

AKA Don't Kick a Blind Guy Today Day.

3. October 13th - National No Bra Day

Now HERE'S a celebration!

4. October 18th - Bra Day USA

To undo the fun of October 13th?

5. September 28th - National Drink Beer Day

Come on, isn't this EVERY day?

6. September 29th - National Coffee Day

See #5 above.

7. October 4th - National Walk to School Day

Unless eventually there's a National Walk HOME From School Day, your kids gonna be pretty mad about this

8. October 5th - National Do Something Nice Day

October 6th: F--- everyone.

9. October 18th - National No Beard Day

One better hope there's an appropriate amount of growing time till National Beard Day rolls around.

10. October 9th - National Pro-Life Cupcake Day

Break out the Fetus-shaped baked goods!

11. October 11th - National Stop Bullying Day

Presumably you can resume stealing a geek's lunch money on the 12th.

12. October 29th - National Hermit Day

You could throw a party. But I don't think anyone's coming.

13. October 12th - National Freethought Day

Not that you believe in it--just celebrate it cause everyone else is.

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Dennis & Judi are on the air weekdays from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. Tweet them @DennisandJudi or @NJ1015.

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