I must have broken my can opener or brought it somewhere. After frantically searching through the utensil drawer in my kitchen I found a can opener I accidentally bought from my sister-in-law years ago. It kind of looked like a typical can opener, but I couldn't figure out how to use it. I have cooked just about every day of my life for the last 30 years, so I'm not like every hapless guy you see on every TV commercial. I know how to do stuff in the kitchen, and quickly. I spent 10 minutes trying to figure this thing out and then:

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