A Day Without a Woman. That's what they called the protests that celebrated "International Women's Day" yesterday.

Women all over the country were encouraged to wear red, not to show up to work, not to purchase anything, thereby showing the rest of the country how important women are, or some such nonsense.

If you don't know already how important you are, you're not paying attention.

Which is why I didn't understand what the day was about. EVERY DAY in this country is National Women's Day. It is not a man's world, and hasn't been since around 1968.

You've come a long way baby. So stop fighting. You've arrived. If you're a woman, you are officially in charge of everything. And if you're not, just whine a little, sue someone, or claim sexism and you will be.

So sit back and enjoy your superiority and your protected class. If you don't believe me, I will enumerate the reasons you have it SO. MUCH. BETTER. THAN. MEN.

1. You have a vagina, therefore, you have the power. You own the world.
2. Women's diseases get more press and therefore more money, so they get cured. People don't care about men's diseases. There's no prostate cancer walk or ribbon for testicular cancer.
3. You have "reproductive rights" out the wazoo. Men have zilch. They pay for viagra out of their pockets.
4. You and minorities are ALWAYS encouraged to apply. That puts a man's resume under yours in the pile.
5. You can use your curves to get you places, and then complain when people notice them. Men do not have curves.
6. You can wipe out a company in one fell swoop by claiming sexual harassment. Men have to watch their backs every day.
7. If you sleep with a man and then regret it, you can claim he assaulted you. If he regrets sleeping with you, all he can do is ignore your texts.
8. You can take off a zillion days when you have a baby and then demand your job back. Men fill in for you while you're gone.
9. You decide if there's gonna be sex tonight. Men pray you say yes.
10. See number one.

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