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Sandy Hook’s Gunnison Beach Is Open This Weekend – Who Do You Least Want to See Naked

Flikr user Sister72
Flikr user Sister72

The idea of visiting New Jersey’s only nude beach, Gunnison Beach at Sandy Hook always intrigued me.

Letting go of all inhibitions; lying in the sand and allowing God’s golden rays to evenly bake my body; and jumping into the surf with the crisp Atlantic enveloping every pore seemed tempting.

And then reality would strike!

Is it really “all that?”

I mean, really, who the hell would want to see me naked? Most days I don’t even want to see myself naked.

Probably more to the point, while I have visions of toned bodies strolling about, I’ve been told they’re anything but toned.

Rolling mounds of suet from years of too much Boston Market macaroni and cheese are more like it.

Yet the nudists (God bless them) will leave inhibition behind on Route 36 and take to the beach en mass eschewing all manner of decorum.

After all, do you really need to be a gym rat to bare your ass for all to see?

According to this:

Today, Congressman Frank Pallone announced that all beaches will be open for Memorial Day weekend at Sandy Hook, part of the Gateway National Recreation Area under the jurisdiction of the National Park Service.

That includes Gunnison Beach, the only legal nude beach in the state.

“New Jerseyans and visitors have been enjoying the beaches of Sandy Hook for generations, and I’m thrilled that they are once again open for all to enjoy,” said Congressman Pallone. “The road to full recovery is a long one, and the reopening of Sandy Hook’s beaches is a significant step in the process and one more sign of New Jersey’s strength and resilience.”

So now all nudists have a hero they can thank this Memorial Day weekend for allowing them to frolic, as Grandma would say, “sensah niend’ en cuolo!” (bare ass-see Rossi Glossary for full translation)

“Resilience indeed!” However were they to try it on a day like today, or perhaps even tomorrow with the forecast of rain and chilly weather, “resilience” would have to mean resilient to shrinkage!

Enjoy your Memorial Day weekend. Don’t forget to thank a vet; then go out and, in the words of David Crosby, “let your freak flag fly!”

And just who is it you would like to least see naked? (Be creative-leave the Governor out of it!)

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