Dear Douchebag,

I know you probably don't like your job. I know you probably are not looking forward to the busy environment you're about to be hit with. I know you are probably irked that you are having to work on Thanksgiving. But when I wheeled my cart filled with items into your lane today and your 'open' light was turned on as you were finishing up with the last customer, you did something that deserved a punch in the face. I was busy putting my things on the conveyor belt when I looked up and noticed that at some point you turned the light off. But you said nothing to me. I looked your way a few moments as you handed change to the other customer and still you said nothing. I spoke up and asked, "Are you taking me or did you just close or what?"

"Oh yeah, we closed."
Nice English.

I said nothing but began putting my items back into the cart. Then you said in a tone of voice as if I had complained when I hadn't, "She open right over there it ain't like it a big thing!"

"I just don't understand why you have your light active when I start putting my items up then turn it off without telling me and then say nothing and make ME ask YOU if you're taking me. I guess you were just going to let me finish putting everything up there and then just walk away?"

"Sorry," you said in a snotty tone.

"Yeah, douchebags always claim they're sorry."

My advice to you. Use better English when you're working, cut your hair, and learn some basic manners.

The guy who didn't punch you in the face