New Jerseyan Did NOT Win $336 Million
The massive Powerball jackpot was hit with one single ticket. That ticket was not sold in New Jersey. It was sold in Rhode Island. Are we picturing Family Guy’s Peter Griffin doing a lottery winning pirouette? Yeah, one guy, 336 million dollars. Or girl. As I write this the winner hasn’t been identified. All we know is it was sold in Rhode Island. A state so small you sneeze and you miss it. A state so small 336 million probably exceeds their gross state product. (Ok, not even close actually, but facts get in the way of my bitterness.)
I just looked up the odds of winning on Powerball’s official website. 1 in 175 million 223 thousand 510. You and I are always somewhere in the remaining 175 million 223 thousand 500 and 9, aren’t we?
$336,000,000.00. It’s hard to even imagine how life changing that is. You could squander 10,000 dollars a day for 10 straight years and only burn through 36 and a half million. Leaving you…still filthy rich.
You could buy Corzine’s Hoboken penthouse AND Bruce Springsteen’s Colts Neck home leaving you…still filthy rich.
You could hire the Rolling Stones to play your father’s back yard birthday leaving you…still filthy rich.
You could pay someone $500,000 a year to follow you around for the rest of your life with a sign reading The Person In Front Of Me Is Filthy Rich, leaving you…still filthy rich.
You could pay your New Jersey property taxes for…oh, wait, might have to start budgeting now.
Nonetheless, whoever hit this, you hope they deserve it. You hope they’ve had bad breaks in their life but remained honest, faced tough situations but remained decent and kind. You hope they’ll be smart with their fortune, not do dumb things like hire the Rolling Stones for a party.
The rest of us? See ya at work tomorrow.