Membership at the nation's largest trade organizations for clowns has plunged over the past decade. Interest is declining, as old age is taking its toll. Says Clowns of America International President Glen Kohlberger, "What's happening is attrition. The older clowns are passing away."

Clearly younger people have little interest in professional clowning. Why? Probably because clowns suck. Clowns are among the most useless people I can think of. What other profession can you think of that has so many Americans with an actual phobia about them? And funny? No. Not funny. Maybe if you're 5. But I doubt my kids at 5 would have even found clowns funny. Funny? No. Stupid? Yes. With the decline in clowns let's hope they go the way of Vaudeville.