Mittens Romney?

Quick, who knows what Mitt Romney’s real first name is?

No search engines allowed! According to a recent 60 Minutes/Vanity Fair poll, 20 % thought Mitt was his real name. 18% guessed Mitchell, which clearly makes sense. 8 % thought Milton. Can we have a president with the first name Milton? To answer this question you must first answer can we have a president who is given swirlies after gym class. Perhaps the most ridiculous answer…2% actually believed his full first name is Mittens.

Yes, Mittens Romney.

The scariest part of this is this 2% vote will count just as much as the rest of ours. In case you’re wondering, Romney’s real first name is Willard. Willard. Hmm. May have to re-think that swirlies after gym class thing.