Ah, truck nutz. The most low class thing one can do in the after market department to their vehicles. When polling folks on the most hated things people do to their cars or trucks, the artificial testicles dangling from trailer hitches usually tops the list. I'm only going by anecdotal experience here and no hard data, but I'm pretty sure there are not a lot of PHDs and truck nutz in the same households.

Then I was driving this weekend when I came across something I'd never seen before. Now granted, the picture I'm showing you is not of something someone does to their car. Not even close. So yes you could say this is comparing apples to oranges, or, uh, apples to nutz? Anyway, take a look at this gigantic cow statue being hauled on 78.

Jeff Deminski photo

It's for some Turkey Hill promotion, a kind of ice cream especially popular in Pennsylvania. This is not something you see every day. And if you look at the udder, it's not something you want to see every day. What in God's name is going on with those veins?!?!?

Jeff Deminski photo

Are the bulging veins really necessary? Seriously. Did this thing get jacked up on steroids before working for Turkey Hill? Do I really need to see a ginormous veiny udder on my drive? At least with truck nutz you can look away. How do you not see this monstrosity? Someone check Elsie's blood pressure, stat! These popping veins shouldn't be anywhere near my milk. This is an udder from Hell. At least it's the right time of year for it.

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