This could be a delicate topic, but let's just say we're all adults here. The facts. Every year Clean Ocean Action meticulously reports on all the litter they pick up off our NJ beaches and make it better for not only the environment but for the upcoming tourist season. When I say meticulously, I'm not exaggerating. They even count how many individual cigarette butts. According to just released Beach Sweep Report for 2017, they collected almost 375,000 pieces of litter last year. Two fire extinguishers, a lawnmower (yes, on the beach), a cheese grater and all kinds of other odd things. Even a plastic statue of the Hindu god Vishnu was left behind.

One disturbing trend was the number of condoms found on the beach. (See, I told you it would get delicate.) 361 condoms were recovered. And that is up 13 percent from two years ago. This means at least 722 people had sex on New Jersey beaches last year. You have to keep in mind, many certainly did this either without using a condom, or without tossing the condom in the sand. So the real number has to be much higher.

For God's sake, why!?? Of all the adventurous places you could get intimate, why on earth would you pick the beach? If you don't know what I'm getting at, one word...SAND! It tends to get everywhere. It tends to cling. If you want to be freaky in the back of a Newark taxi, on a hiking trail in Watchung, deep in the Pine Barrens, hell on the side of a light house in Cape May wearing 1970's Elton John sunglasses and a feather boa, whatever! But the beach? You have to be kidding me! If that does it for you why don't you also invest in sandpaper bed sheets. It has to be just as comfortable. If you want to be playful, have at it. But the beach? Fuggetaboutit!

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