How to get a giant ‘F— You’ at a New Jersey gas station
I still can't believe what happened today.
During times when we have talked about Jersey's ban on self-serve gas, people have occasionally pointed out that they often get out of their cars and pump it anyway and never have an attendant complain or even raise an eyebrow. The few times I've tried this in the past, I was yelled at.
Today was the craziest of them all. Today I wasn't even trying to pump my own gas, really. I pulled into a gas station on Route 206 South in Hillsborough and asked for a fill-up of regular, and handed him my credit card.
When I say "him," I almost should say "them." The two attendants on duty seemed to be joined at the hip, in constant conversation, and moving from one car to another, always together. Early 20-somethings who seemed to be feeling their own power and coolness. No, it didn't exist, but they were feeling it anyway. One could just tell.
So the fill-up began and I simply sat and waited. They were standing together, still talking about halfway across the gas station when my pump clicked off. I saw the guy look over his shoulder right at my pump and then look back to his friend and he kept talking. I waited maybe 10 seconds, realized he wasn't coming over, and thought to myself, "People say they PUMP their own gas all the time without incident — this is only removing the nozzle." So I figured why not?
I got out of the car and left the door open and walked around the back end of my SUV, took the nozzle out and put it back on the pump. I closed my tank and was reaching for my credit card when I saw them racing over. I never said a word to them, never even looked at them, didn't complain in any way whatsoever. I simply took my card and turned towards the back of my car as they reached the pump and I began making the walk back around. Simple as that.
"Have a nice DAY, sir!" came the most sarcastic greeting you'd ever want to hear. Dripping with venom.
I was shocked but I just ignored it and kept walking. By the time I got back to my door they still stood there on the passenger side and again the guy, even louder this time and even more sarcastic says, "Have a NICE DAY, sir!!"
Yes, they were for some reason hostile that I had simply put the nozzle away and grabbed my credit card. Without a word of complaint or any hostility mind you.
He did not want to be ignored and again, louder still, said, "Have a NICE DAY, SIR!!!"
I started up the engine and before I put it in park he's leaning towards my still open passenger window and for a fourth time with all the venom of a true victim yells, "HAVE A NICE DAY, SIR!!!!"
Finally I asked, "Is it really that important to you that you get a response to your sarcasm?"
Then the other guy (who really should have been off waiting on customers but again these two seemed inseparable) said, in just as hostile a tone, "Well YOU'RE the one being RUDE by getting out of your CAR!"
"It was finished," I pointed out.
Back to first guy, "Well if you'd just give us a chance!"
I said, "You guys were too busy socializing so what's the big deal?"
At that point the guy yells at me, "F___ YOU!"
To which, as I pulled away, simply said, "Okay, f___ you right back."
I drove away. But the very first thing I did was used my voice-to-text feature to be hands free to write out the entire back and forth conversation so that I wouldn't get a word of it wrong.
Gotta love New Jersey.
Have you ever had a bad experience pumping your own gas? Tell us in the comments below or Tweet us @NJ1015.
— Jeff Deminski
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