Hillary Clinton, fresh off a loss in West Virginia, is in New Jersey today (watch her live here). It's her first campaign stop in the Garden State since launching her nationwide effort for the presidency.

She'll be shrieking — I mean speaking — at Camden County College in Blackwood.

You may hear her even if you're several counties away. Defying all laws of physics, her shrill has been known to travel over 70 miles without amplification. With amplification it has reached the International Space Station.

Speaking of amplification, it's somewhat of a mystery to her even after all these years in public life. Don't get me wrong. She can make some interesting speeches. It's just that the bleeding from people's eardrums often mutes even her more salient points. She's just never understood the concept of amplified sound. She gives speeches as if there's no mic and no p.a. and the back of the crowd will never hear her unless she screams.

Now this is not me bagging on Democrats. Many have used amplified sound appropriately. Howard Dean once ... okay nevermind.

If you're planning on being anywhere near Hillary's speech today I offer the following decibel guide in case you want to consider some form of hearing protection.


12-gauge shotgun blast: 165 dB
Jet engine at 100 feet: 140 dB
Jackhammer: 95 dB
Hillary unamplified: 100 dB
Hillary amplified: 285 dB
Normal conversation: 60 dB

Also if you plan on taking small children to her campaign stop who are prone to being frightened by Disney villains, you may want to first familiarize them with Hillary's evil laugh. This handy YouTube Hillary Evil Laugh compilation is a good primer.

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