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Elderly Clown Crashes Minivan

Clownfest in Seaside Heights (Facebook photo via Clownfest)
Two old guys who work as clowns crashed their minivan into an SUV on their way to a fair. I’d love to see this police report. 83 year old James Billingsley, who goes by the professional name of “Dimples The Clown”, missed the entrance of the fair and tried to hang a U-turn. Not seeing a Honda SUV he collided right into it. He was wearing oversized clown shoes at the time. Police however do not feel the giant shoes played a role in the crash.

His passenger, 77 year old Norman Clouser, no word on his clown moniker, was unhurt. Dimples however suffered a minor bump on his head. If all this isn’t ridiculous enough, the minivan was pulling a clown car behind it. No word on damage to the clown car. Did I ever mention how much I despise clowns? And no, I’m not scared of clowns. I don’t suffer coulrophobia. I’m just annoyed by clowns. I’d rather be the guy who stands inside that stupid giant mattress costume at the side of Route 1 than work as a clown. I think I’d rather be homeless than work as a clown. Anyway, why Dimples the clown with his giant stupid feet is still driving at 83 when he can’t even see an SUV right in front of him is a mystery, but that’s another topic altogether.

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