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Do You Need That Spark?

flickr/Julien Haler

Earlier tonight during “Ask Michelle,” a guy called in asking if a relationship that starts with a spark is doomed to fail.  My first reaction was, of course not!  That is usually a good sign! But he said in his experience, he’s found that when he just starts a relationship as friends, he finds the attraction down the road, but if he starts a relationship with a spark, he is blinded by the chemistry and it may not turn out to be a great relationship.

While I do believe the best relationships start as great friendships, because when the looks fade, you definitely need that foundation, I also believe you must have that spark at the beginning or else you probably won’t give that person a chance.  It’s one thing if you were friends for years and then one day, you realize you are attracted to them.  But if you are out there dating, you’re probably not going to give that person a second or third date if there’s no physical attraction because you already have enough friends and you are looking for a partner, not another friend.  That being said, I’ve met some pretty great people over the years but there wasn’t an attraction.  I would say that I honestly could stay friends, but I don’t think they want to hear that either.

So what do you think? Can you have a relationship without an initial spark? How did your current relationship start?

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