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College Jackass Files “Anus Explosion” Lawsuit!

getty images-Assinine Lawsuit?

Question: Who’s the bigger ass?

The college student firing a bottle rocket out of his rectum for “fun”…or the student who was startled by the resultant explosion of said bottle rocket, that he falls off a deck, injuring himself, and suing the fraternity and the bottle rocket launcher!

This is no joke…the future of our great republic is at stake!

Here’s the scoop: A dopey college student wanted to see what it was like to shoot a bottle rocket from his rectum.

This results, not in propelling the rocket away from said student’s anus, but instead, explodes inside the student’s rectum.

At first glance, I thought the lawsuit would have been filed against the bottle rocket manufacturer.

But no!

It was filed by a nearby student who’d subsequently fallen off a deck after having been startled by the resultant explosion.

This second student is suing for pain and suffering as well as lost playing time on the college baseball team!

Answer for this for me if you please.

Shouldn’t one expect dopey things to occur while attending a frat party?

Shooting bottle rockets out of one’s ass seems to be within the bounds of stupidity on the part of your average fraternity brother!

However, one does NOT expect to fall off a deck upon being startled by such “dildophonic” activity.

(Note to self: can one use the term “dildophonic activity”in a court of law to describe this particular chain of events!)

Anyway, one can see how the legal profession has a field day with lawsuits such as this!

Makes me want to rethink putting money away to send my grandson off to college! (I will whisper in his ear: “Nicky Boy, be a plumber instead!”)

Or as my father used to say: “Youse kids…youse all go to college to get stupid!”

Case closed!

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