Bill Doyle’s weekend project — ‘Some Assembly Required’ is an understatement

So, after 15 years, my trusty treadmill broke down. I use it everyday, so it was important to me to replace it quickly. As a concession to advancing age and balky knees, I decided to venture into new territory and buy an elliptical, instead. After doing my research, I settled on the model I wanted and found which store carried it. I told the story on the air about going to the store and waiting 35 minutes for someone to help me. I got disgusted and left. I tracked down the elliptical I wanted on line and ordered it. When it came time to check out, there was an option for assembly of the unit for $120. I quickly decided that was too large a percentage of the purchase price and declined, so I knew some assembly would be required. It only took a few days for the box to arrive:

I opened it to find more than a little assembly would be required.

I carried the pieces down to the basement one by one and laid them out on the floor.

The manual said it should take about two hours to assemble and that I would need a rubber mallet and Phillips-Head screwdriver. One of the first things I did was drop a bolt into the flywheel housing and it took about half an hour to fish it out, so I knew that two hour target would probably be elusive. Also, I later let the electronics’ wires fall back in the tube and that took another half hour to retrieve, so the two hour things was history. I really don’t know how many hours it took me because I split it over several days, but rest assured, it was well in excess of the recommended time. Once I got the upright and fastened the upright to the frame, it got easier.

Soon all that was left were the pedals and various covers.

Behold the finished product.

Even though it took me at least twice as long as it was supposed to, I’m glad I didn’t pay for assembly, although every time I step on it I remember I’m the one who put it together and the narrator in my head intones: “And that was the decision that cost Bill his life.”