Does this sound like someone from New Jersey?

"I am from NJ. I curse...a lot. I say "yo", and I say it often. I never had school on Rosh Hashanah or Yom Kippur. I sure as hell don't pump my own gas. I know what real pizza tastes like, and I know that a bagel is much more than a ****in' roll with a hole in the middle. I judge people by what exit they get off the parkway. I can navigate a circle--with attitude. All good nights must end at a diner--preferably with cheese fries. It's a sub, not a hoagie or, worse yet, a hero, and I wash it down with soda, not pop. Two words... "mother ****er." I don't go to the beach, I go down the shore. And boardwalk brawls are just a part of the atmosphere. Yes, I drink cawfee. I know that 65mph really means 80. I've always lived within 10 minutes of a mall. When someone cuts me off, they get the horn AND the finger. And they expect it. I am from New Jersey, and damn proud of it." 

If you look up the definition of New Jersey on UrbanDictionary.com, that's one of them. Really? First of all, by excluding hoagie you just excluded half our state so already you've lost all street cred. And isn't street cred what Urban Dictionary is supposed to be all about? For those unfamiliar it's a crowdsourced online dictionary of slang words and phrases. It's been around since 1999. My opinion is that in the beginning it served more of a purpose, but by now has just become a caricature of itself.

How else is New Jersey either misunderstood or outright roasted? Here are some more examples.

pork roll

Staple food of the small, impoverished Italian colony known as New Jersey.

Impoverished? Home to a couple of the richest counties in the country.

 

Newark

The s****iest place in the entire galaxy. Newark, New Jersey is a placed filled with gangs, drugs, guns and hoes. And plus it smells like ****.

Not to mention Prudential Center, a major international airport, a vibrant dining scene, etcetera.

 

Atlantic City

also known as A.C. The east coast equivalent to Las Vegas a city where the inhabitants are overlooked and live amongst Pimps Pushes Prostitutes, and Poverty.

Hey at least a lot of those people mentioned would be smart enough to not capitalize those words.

 

Chris Christie

Donald Trump's **** boy. A sycophant reminiscent of villians' scheming-but-pathetic advisors in genre films.

What, no weight jokes?

 

Long Branch

where the jews kome ta chill for the summer. & if you been to lb before you know that any street between joline ave & broadway is the hood. (2nd ave,3rd ave,4th ave,rockwell ave,liberty ave,5th ave North and South,6th ave North and South,7th ave South,Morris Ave & the projekts of woodrow wilson. Lokated on high street & west end ave. It turned into a riot,gang,drugs and gun violent type a plase but I love violense so its sweet to live there. Lb has the rich hood,pier village & elberon. But people trashed pier already.its the 2nd baddest plase on the jersey shore after asbury park.

This is so stupid and there's so much wrong with it that I don't even know where to begin.

 

Lakewood

A small town in New Jersey where about 8 million Hasidic jews currently reside.

Again, wrong wrong wrong. The Orthodox Jews who live here are for the most part not Hasidim.

 

Garden State Parkway

Poor excuse for a major highway; however, driving this road is a classic experience unique to New Jerseyans.

Perhaps that's one some will agree with.

Jeff Deminski can be heard with Bill Doyle on New Jersey 101.5, every weekday, from 2 to 7 p.m. Listen live online here at NJ1015.com or on the NJ1015 app. Follow Jeff on Twitter. Email him at jeff.deminski@townsquaremedia.com. The opinions expressed here are solely those of Jeff Deminski.

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